i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
