Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
