nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
