yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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