i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
