I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
