I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
