Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
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Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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