your parents love me but you hate me
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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