I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
