YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I could make wine with my vomit
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
