My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My pussy is not your playground.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
