Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
