I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Alive.
So much puke
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
