Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
