You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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