so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
