i permit you to call me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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