Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
