i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
