great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish you could order shots online.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
being pregnant is like rehab
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
