I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize