hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Come on in and take your pants off
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