do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
