Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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