i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
