big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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