the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
