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I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
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and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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