We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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