He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize