Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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