She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
