Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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