actually, I'm a sock model
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
