Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
