Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
