Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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