he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
