the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
