The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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