i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
