I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need water and some morals
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
