yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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