Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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