I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize