Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
