i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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