ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
