I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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