Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
