She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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