did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
