so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
