Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
