forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
