Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
