So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
