i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
