the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
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You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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