I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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