So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
