PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
