Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
