I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
