the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
