I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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