theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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